Connext Conference in Chicago July 6, 2009

I am very excited about the forthcoming gathering of young South Asian Christian leaders of North America. Last one was in New York in Sept 2007 and we saw great momentum in what happening among South Asians Christians all over the continent. This time, it is going to be in Chicago and I am part of the local organizing team. See details at www.connextonline.org Focus this year is going to be on leadership development and we have a great line up of leaders as resource people. Theme is Unleashing the Leadership Potential. If you are serving South Asian community in any capacity or would like to, this is a must attend event for you.

Who are South Asians – people from India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Myanmar, Maldives and Bhutan. But it is not limited to them, but also those who work with them in some capacity. If you are a pastor, missionary, involved in campus ministry, marketplace leader, businessperson, youth leader, musician/artist, work with a parachurch org, studying in a bible college or seminary or actively serving in some capacity, this is an ideal event to hone your leadership skills.

See website and register early.

Deadly Pessimism of the Youth June 30, 2009

A  new study has found almost 15 percent of American teens believe they will die before age 35 — a perspective strongly linked to risky behavior. Read the report in Forbes. ALso see NIH findings on Adolescent Mental Health.

Last week, I lost a friend and he was only 30. Recently I was speaking at a youth camp and I was shocked at a their sense of doom awaiting them. They are living with a sense of fear about their uncertain future and dabble with risky behaviors. Such widespread teen pessimism is dangerous to church, society and nation. Economic uncertainity, living under foreign, prevailing media coverage of glooming national scenarios and what not.

The study also found that a teen’s mental state and behavior were mutually influential. A teen who predicted a short lifespan, for instance, during an early interview was more likely to engage in subsequent risky behavior, and teens who engaged in risky behavior throughout the first year of the study were more likely to develop a pessimistic view of their future.

Kids begin to think, there is no point in studying hard, if they cannot find any reasonable job. When they see their parents loose jobs, they doubt their own future. With looming terrorist threats and alerts at airports affects teen psyche more than we think. They take it seriously and begin to see monsters behind every bush.

Will you pump in some optimism to teens around you? They desperately need them.

UK: Family breakdown causing social anarchy June 27, 2009

Last week, I was in UK. As I landed in London and was waiting for a connecting flight to Northern Ireland, I picked up the morning newspapers and was quite surprised at this report “Only Marriage can mend broken Britain” Read it for yourself – BBC, Daily Mail, and also Christian Institute.

Justice Paul Coleridge was addressing the UK parliment and compared ‘meltdown’ in british families with global warming and cancer behind all social evils. He said result of family breakdown would be distastruous to the nation. He even advocated government to do more for the families to end the social anarchy.

He also condemned the ‘pass the partner’ trend in growing prevlance in cities of UK and how such immoral practices would ’scar children for life.’ When future generation is ‘damaged and emotional disturbed’ as a result of parental neglect, selfishness and abuse, society is sure to pay a heavy price in the years to come. He claimed ‘almost all of society’s social ills can be traced directly to the collapse of familylife.’

Over last few decades, the anti-family policies that Western society has embraced has costed the nations dearly. Generations later somebody seems to get it. When collective good is sunk in favor of individual rights, society will implode. Abraham Lincoln was right - ’The strength of a nation lies in the strength of its families.’ When families falls apart, so goes community, church and the nation.

Somebody finally seems to have the courage and wisdom to challenge the growing epidemic of broken homes. After being family judge for several years and seeing first hand crisis of modern society, with insight into how it could afffect a nation’s future, he was calling for a change in attitude by the policy makers and seniors leaders of his country. Way to go Justice Coleridge. We need such champions in every nation!

Converting out of Christianity June 5, 2009

Christians has been in the forefront of religious conversions. Many religious groups feel threatened by the aggressive missionary conversion agenda of the Church. Leaving faith is seen as betrayal of family, community, faith and nationality. Now a new fad in the ‘Christian’ West - renouncing Christianity by choice.

A new faith renouncing ceremony has emerged. It is called ‘de-baptism’ and is a growing phenomena in Britian, a nation that send out Christian missionaries all over the world. See report in TIME and USA Today.

Brits are not converting to any other faith, but are simply unchristianizing themselves or say converting to atheism. This was spearheaded by National Secular Society (read New Aethists) and the campaign was carried over by ads in buses in London. It offered their ‘converts’ a certificate of de-baptism over internet for $4. It is estimated that over 100,000 people have been de-baptized.

Bizzare as it might seem, it is indicative of growing indifference in Western Europe towards Christianity, which was once the nerve center of Christendom. The growing irrelevance of institutionalized church and culturalized christians, at the face of multiculturalism, postmodernity and the invasion of Islam, may have been the cause of much of it.

 See breakpoint commentary by Chuck Colson, where he talked about Original Sin that campaign had targetted at. Christianity have thrived when it took root in a particular culture. Even as center of Christianity has shifted to the global south, the Western & Northern hemisphere Christians are forced to do some soulsearching.

In India, conversion has been a hotly debated political and religious issue and the anti-conversion legislation is enacted in several states. Some of those who have been converted to Christianity has been reconverted back to ‘original’ faith in a communal ceremony called vapsi,  which never existed in Hindism before. Even poor animist tribals are forcefully converted to Hinduism as a result of this ritual, who were never Hindus in the first place.

If the Christian Gospel is truly universal (for people of all cultures in all times), Christians should engage afresh cultures of our times with the truth claims of Jesus Christ and make him relevant. When it fails to do and theological vaccum is created, it sure going to suck it whatever cultural fad emerges. Are you ready for this task?

Changing Childhood May 15, 2009

Childhood is never the same. 10 years old girls are into diets, manicures and breast implants. See a report in Daily Mail and about Generation Diva in Newsweek. With the onset of puberty at younger years and constant bombardment of sexually charged images, preteens moving from childhood into adulthood, skipping important life stage of adolescence.

Another recent survey, by a children’s organisation questioned 150,000 children and found that an astonishing 26 per cent of ten-year-old girls are obsessed with their weight and feel they’re not thin enough. More girls under the age of ten are being diagnosed with anorexia than ever. Some early teens are opting for breast implants as their birthday presents.

May be parents and culture should be blamed. We are putting so much pressure on our children today to grow up too quickly. They access information which is way beyond their level of maturity in terms of sexual and relationship behaviour. They exhibit increased levels of anxiety among young girls who feel they are not thin enough, not beautiful enough, and compare themselves to the impossible images of their airbrushed idols in magazines.

Many ten-year-old girls are obsessed by hair, fashion and make-up. Children are being inundated with images which they are simply not emotionally mature enough to cope with. They tend to believe this is how they should be and that everybody is doing them. According to market research, if the trends continue, by the time today’s 10-year-old turns 50, she’ll have spent almost half a million dollars on hair, makeup, elective surgeries, manicures, and pedicures.

Another recent study found that fewer than 20 per cent of children play outside on a regular basis. As parents work longer hours and have less time to spend with their children, it is all too easy to dump them in front of a television screen. Many of the TV programmes aimed at teenagers, and music videos which are virtually soft porn. Then there is computers with broadband access without any filters or supervision.

The key to a happy, secure childhood – which is vitally important in creating stable and responsible adults – is to feel good about yourself and know who you are. Coming out of broken homes and self-obsessed parents, this latchkey kids are one of the least nurtured kids ever.

I am currently reading Spoiling Children: How well meaning prents are giving children too much, but not what they need by Dr. Diane Ehresaft. Title says it all.

Missing Children of Mumbai (India) May 14, 2009

Heard of this… on an average 2,000 kids are reported missing every year, but only half of them are found, reveal statistics. ‘Missing’ includes those who have been kidnapped, lost or run away. See report in Hindustan Times and Times of India.

In 2006, of the 1,569 kids who went missing, 582 were traced. In 2007, 4,000 children went missing in Mumbai, only 831 were traced – 3,169 kids have still not been located. In 2008 only 2,837 cases of children who went missing.

In a City of 18 million people, bubbling with life, business, glamour and decay, 2000 may not be much. Most of them never get ‘found’ and lost forever. Think about nearly 2000 families have to live with such incidents for rest of their lives.This is the dark side of slumdog millionaire city.

Call it the Slumdog Paradox. Oscar winning movie Slumdog Millionaire might have changed the lives of Rubina, Tanvi, Ashutosh, Ayush and many others, but numerous children like them in the slums of Mumbai are still awaiting a change in their destiny.

Some brush aside such news, while most tend to overlook. Life of these little ones does not mean much to many. ‘It is their fate,’ they say. But some steps into situations like that and wants to do something for these kids. Like Compasstion International. See what they are doing in India. They have over 100,000 kids under their care, many of whom would have become part of this statastics, but for their compassion. There are many individuals and organization

Leave it not to their fate or let their destiny be shaped by our compassion. May we be part of the solution, rather than condemning the problem or the goverment. God cares for the least and lost ones in our city. So must we. ‘Let the things that break the heart of God, break our hearts as well.’

Marriage beyond Infidelity April 30, 2009

I cam across this interesting article in Daily Mail in UK (leading daily with over 6 million circulation). It was titled – My husband’s affair was the BEST thing that ever happened to our marriage. Check it out entire article for yourself.

I wish that was true for more women who made surprise discoveries of their husband’s extra marital affairs. Infidelity wrecks marriages. Restoring broken trust is a near impossible task, especially when a third women is involved. Whether it is a casual one night stand on a business trips or affair with a secretary or old school mate who is unhappy in her marriage, it permanently damages your marriage. But yet it is not beyond redemption, as we can see from this story.

There is growing group of support network for individuals whose struggle in marriage where their mate is found unfaithful. It is called Beyond Affairs Network – http://www.beyondaffairs.com/. If you or someone you know is hurt by extra marital affairs, refer them to support groups in this network. They have several good resources to prevent affairs and recovering from affairs.

Prevention is better than cure. Avoiding the third person in the marriage, whether it be other women or man or mother-in-law, is always the best policy. Loosing it need not be the way to discover worth of something you always had. Cherishing your spouse with love and care that nothing else will come in between. Nurturing and growing your marriage is best way to keep off extra marital attractions and infidelity.

Go and build your marriage!!!!

Married folks twice happier than Singles April 23, 2009

A new Pew Research Center poll reveals something that’s not new at all: married people are happier than singles.

In the most recent poll, 43 percent of people who are married reported being happy, compared with just 24 percent of singles. Even in spite of the beating marriage has taken in recent years, this number is as true now as it was a generation ago. The results were exactly the same for women as for men.

The Pew happiness study didn’t confine it’s focus only to marriage. Here are some other interesting findings:

• Money may not buy happiness but it does reflect it. The percentage of people reporting being happy rose consistently with income level.
• Health was also a reliable predictor, with the satisfaction level directly tied to how healthy the individual reported being.
• Ideology also tracked with happiness, with 40 percent of conservatives being happy, compared to 33 percent of moderates and 27 percent of those identifying themselves as liberal
• Those who regularly attend church at least once a week are significantly more happy than those who attend once a month or less
• Blacks are less happy than whites or Hispanics, but interestingly money was not a reliable predictor of happiness among blacks
• Employment was not a predictor of happiness among women, but men who were unemployed were significantly less happy than those who held jobs
• The less rushed, the more happy. About 42 percent of those who said they were almost never rushed reported being happy, compared with 24 percent of those who felt they were always hurried

Abduction of boys in China April 22, 2009

Young boys are abducted and sold to families who are desperate for a male heir. Yet another fallout from the one child policy to contain population by the Chinese government. Little kids are stolen from play ground and even snatched from the hands of care givers. See the story in New York Times. 

Mother with a poster of her kidnapped son (source: NYT)

We all have heard of sex selective abortion plague in India and other parts of the world. In several Indian states this has led to skewed gender balance. Inherant gender bias, religious superstitions and preference for boys force many young couples to determine sex of the babies soon after conception and if it is a girl, they try to abort and keep trying to have a boy child. For more on female infanticide in India and China check out Gendercide case study.

I believe this is nothing but a curse that as society and future generations are bound to pay for. The intentional killing of baby girls due to the preference for male babies and from the low value associated with the birth of females. Chuck Colson called it as a curse that keeps on giving in his breakpoint commentary on this issue.

Market forces are at play. When supply is low and demand rises, so does prices for boys.  Now demand for boys is on the rise. Much of which is a result of distorted social policy. Families are paying thousands of dollars (several months of earnings) in order to ’secure’ their future by ‘buying’ a boy child. As the NYT story cites, this is not international human trafficking issue, but this trend is aimed at meeting a need in locally.

China has 32 million more males than females under twenty. In 2005, there were 120 boys born for every 100 girls. The preference for male children has led to the aborting of 16 million females in China. When they come of age, finding a mate is going to be serious problem. Growing up without siblings, they lack relationship skills and most remain ignorant of female species of their kind or how to relate to them. Not to mention rise of gay lifestyle and breakdown in marriges.

Several years ago, I spoke at a UN conference on families and had the previalge of having dinner along with China minister for social affairs. We discussed about family planning policies of India and China. He was well aware of  growing problems of the Chinese policy to contain it bulging population and yet had to stand by his government stand on this issue. So tragic!

Cry of the aborted infants are calling for justice to their Creator. The destiny of future generation should not determined by goverment policy, nor should kids become a commodity with a price tag on their head, nor families should be restricted in reproduction rights. Who will stand for the rights or ideoligical shaped policies of our national leaders?

Kids on Facebook get lower grades April 15, 2009

Heard of this? Kids who use Facebook have lower GPA than those who do not. A new study by a doctral candidate has now confirmed what parents always was suspicious about. Too much time spend on computers on social networking apps are taking precious time that should be spend on studying. See the report in TIME.

Critics say you don’t need a doctral dessertation is show what is obvious. Others say study does not suggest that Facebook directly causes lower grades, but there is a relationship between the two. “Networking may not be need now,” parents say, “they need to focus on getting good grades and getting into college.”

But among minority communities like Asian Americans, it is crucial for teens to meet others like them who are marginalized. It is a developmental need and socnet platforms provide an ideal platform for it. When their distinct socio-cultural needs are not met, it could create isolation and greater psychological problems.

When radio, TV and emails appeared, many parents and youthworkers said a similar thing. I’m not saying everything on Facebook or other social networking sites are great. We must educate kids of the dangers posed by such online interface and fallacy of online relationships. Any new technological adoption and cultural revolution is bound to have other repercussions, falling grade is one of them.