Recently I was talking with a marriageable single lady and heard her view how rest of the community views them. She confided that people think that there is something wrong with her. If you are not married within certain age or stage in life, it brings lots of ridicule for singles. When young people do not comply to certain communal norms and expectations, it brings shame to their parents. Parents are constantly bombarded from their peers, “why isn’t your son/daughter settled down yet?” They are often shunned as people treated lepers in the past!
In the Indian arranged marriage system, it was parent’s responsibility to find spouse for their children. But how things worked in the past, need not work anymore. Needs of the children have changed, not to mention their view and expectations of marriage. In many cases they do not want marriage like their parents.. one even told me that “my parents are simply co-habitating! If that is marrige, I do not want to get married!”
In God’s eyes, singleness is a season of life like any other no better and no worse. If you are single, be thankful for the time and ability you have to walk uninterrupted with Christ (1 Corinthians 7:33-34). Can you like Paul say, I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content. (Philippians 4:11)
Listen to an encouraging message from David Jeremiah on overcoming loneliness of singles –http://www.oneplace.com/common/player/oneplace/CustomPlayer.asp?bcd=12/6/2006&url=http://boss.streamos.com/wmedia/swn/oneplace/wm/tp/tp20061206.wax&MinTitle=Turning+Point&MinURL=http://www.oneplace.comhttp://www.oneplace.com/ministries/turning_point/&MinArchives=http://www.oneplace.comhttp://www.oneplace.com/ministries/turning_point/archives.asp&Refresh=&AdsCategory=MINISTRY.TP&Show_ID=29
I have always encouraged singles to wait and get married to the right person. I see many rushing, unable to cope with the communal pressure and settle for marriages in order to get their parents off their backs. Many also end up breaking it off in few years and find themselves to be single again!
Parents, community and church need to be more sensitive to the need of this growing population amidst us and try better job in caring for them. Or else we will never see them again!