Coconut Generation

The Next Generation of Asian Indians

When does spanking become abuse? June 11, 2007

Filed under: Culture,Family,News — Sam George @ 10:39 pm

Heard about the proposed ban on spanking in California? How do you differentiate between “reasonable” spanking and “unreasonable” hitting? Where do you draw the line between discipline and abuse.

A dilemma that most Indian American parents face – whether to follow the “Indian” way and the “American” way when it comes to spanking. First of all, I am a product of parents who shamelessly believed in spanking. But I must admit that as younger of two boys, my brother took a lion share of it.

Parents in the ’60s raised kids with the Spock mentality and in the 70s were daring to discipline with Dobson mindset. I grew up in the ’80s with a set of parents who most certainly did not “spare the rod.” And guess what!? I’m alive, and have done well!

I do not mean to diminsh the concern there is for children who truly are in abusive situations. But come on, people, it’s easy to recognize a parent that is in control (spanking responsibly and purposely) and one that’s not (abuse). So here’s what I want to know, is the real problem people have with spanking about the fine line between reasonable punishment and abuse?

I do have one thing to say, the future looks like it’s going to be an interesting battle for us future parents out there who desire freedom from the state or allow state intervention in how we raise our kids.


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